is awesome. Embrace it.
In the past months I've been through several events that provoke me to question certain habits I have. Some days I just feel like staying at home and sleeping, watching TV and doing something absolutely unproductive knowing that I would end up waking up to a new day feeling absolutely shitty.
But it's when I embrace these times and let it be that I feel the most alive at the end of it, regardless of how dead I feel during it. In questioning why these habits exist, I forgot to stop and examine if there was really something to question in the first place.
That's when I notice there's nothing wrong with wanting to be alone a lot. It's a lifestyle. Some people need to get out of the house all the time. That's your lifestyle.
I respect that we have our individual ways of going about it. So you should too.
Wednesday, 4 June 2008
Thursday, 15 May 2008
Uarghhgarhguhghuharhhgh
I've always been a peaceful dreamer. A happy one, even. A week ago I could tell you about all the good dreams I've ever had, fantastic ones even. But I wouldn't be able to tell you one particularly bad one, and I'd say nothing close to even half a nightmare.
This week I had the same recurring nightmare thrice. All of which were continuous and more vivid each time they progressed.
It just scares me because when you really think about it there are times where (mostly in movies, actually) that you get visions, each of them getting more clear and detailed as they progressed, they actually happen at the end of the day.
I'm not afraid of some bullcrap nightmare where a ghost haunts me or my soul is taken away. This was real, and would be impossible to tell whether it was a dream or whether it was really happening. I don't know if I should treat it as a sign or just a coincidence that I've been thinking about it too much.
.
..
...
Come to think about it I'm probably just bummed out that the truth is this nightmare is inevitable and will happen to me sooner or later. Sigh.
This week I had the same recurring nightmare thrice. All of which were continuous and more vivid each time they progressed.
It just scares me because when you really think about it there are times where (mostly in movies, actually) that you get visions, each of them getting more clear and detailed as they progressed, they actually happen at the end of the day.
I'm not afraid of some bullcrap nightmare where a ghost haunts me or my soul is taken away. This was real, and would be impossible to tell whether it was a dream or whether it was really happening. I don't know if I should treat it as a sign or just a coincidence that I've been thinking about it too much.
.
..
...
Come to think about it I'm probably just bummed out that the truth is this nightmare is inevitable and will happen to me sooner or later. Sigh.
i dreamt...
that I had final exams the next day. I woke up and my heartbeat was racing. Only to the realization of the fact that my final exams were today.
First time I woke up from a bad dream to be in an even worse position. Eep.
Cheers, g'luck for the exam season, all =)
First time I woke up from a bad dream to be in an even worse position. Eep.
Cheers, g'luck for the exam season, all =)
Monday, 12 May 2008
Brand New Template
Hell yeah, exam ending, and mood turning to blue, digesting stresses, enjoy holiday. HOORAYYY.
I'm in Blue now.. ^^V
I'm in Blue now.. ^^V
Sunday, 11 May 2008
Boom!
Today was just weird.
My writing gradually became shittier with every line. The directions of my handwriting strokes even started changing because I would lift my pen too fast then some letters don't appear as they should. It was horrible.
I'm a lot more used to have shitty writing throughout the paper.
I actually ran out of time and didn't manage to write what I planned to.
I'm a lot more used to writing everything I intend to write, think for 5 minutes about what I'm missing out, then accept the fact that I'm stupid and sit back to look around at people doing their work OR leave the exam hall early. I have never run out of time before. EVER.
I managed to at least finish everything I wanted to say but took an extremely horizontal approach. I wrote a little on everything relevant but didn't go into depth.
I'm a lot more used to being perfect on spelling and grammar but thoroughly lacking substance OR writing way too much in depth on a certain topic I'm more familiar with.
At the drop of my pen I knew I didn't do as well as I could have during the paper itself (should have rushed myself from the beginning) but there was still this satisfaction in me. Writing a lot with a horizontal approach and running out of time is a lot better than having too much time for not being able to write anything.
It's always "ahh, finally" that I get when the clock marks the end and I always know the problem lied in the preparation and not my attitude during the actual paper.
And here I am back again at where I was after finishing the accessed paper of accounting . Relief. Hoping my efforts pay off. Expecting decent marks (not as good as the marks on the assessed paper of course :P). And a very bad after-effect of all this - wanting to throw all my books away and sleep forever. But that's not happening, is it? =(
~The 3nD~
My writing gradually became shittier with every line. The directions of my handwriting strokes even started changing because I would lift my pen too fast then some letters don't appear as they should. It was horrible.
I'm a lot more used to have shitty writing throughout the paper.
I actually ran out of time and didn't manage to write what I planned to.
I'm a lot more used to writing everything I intend to write, think for 5 minutes about what I'm missing out, then accept the fact that I'm stupid and sit back to look around at people doing their work OR leave the exam hall early. I have never run out of time before. EVER.
I managed to at least finish everything I wanted to say but took an extremely horizontal approach. I wrote a little on everything relevant but didn't go into depth.
I'm a lot more used to being perfect on spelling and grammar but thoroughly lacking substance OR writing way too much in depth on a certain topic I'm more familiar with.
At the drop of my pen I knew I didn't do as well as I could have during the paper itself (should have rushed myself from the beginning) but there was still this satisfaction in me. Writing a lot with a horizontal approach and running out of time is a lot better than having too much time for not being able to write anything.
It's always "ahh, finally" that I get when the clock marks the end and I always know the problem lied in the preparation and not my attitude during the actual paper.
And here I am back again at where I was after finishing the accessed paper of accounting . Relief. Hoping my efforts pay off. Expecting decent marks (not as good as the marks on the assessed paper of course :P). And a very bad after-effect of all this - wanting to throw all my books away and sleep forever. But that's not happening, is it? =(
~The 3nD~
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