Fickle emotion

We all know how it's possible to suppress your craving for something and how it'll fade away eventually. Would it work the same way when you're dealing with feelings towards others?

The way I see it, the most realistic way out of my situation is to pull out of it by forgetting about it. Throughout so many years of people to people networking, i have learnt that the more you ignore the lesser it sparks - do not get it wrong, i wasn't saying ignoring the problem, it was more or less ignoring unnecessary comments and arguments that happened to be emotional whereby the person who talked is emotional too. Never deliver your message when you are angry, the next day you wake up, sorry doesn't work anymore. Yes i do experience couples and dozens of sorry and i always choose to forgive. Human brain is a very sensitive and emotional organic information organ, they act because your heart realizes. So always calm down, positiveness must take place.

I'm sick of myself being so obsessive about it. I'm not the kind who likes to make assumptions about my own life based on how I'm feeling. By right, no one should. I always prefer to take the rational style by sleeping it over and getting my emotions out of the way before I make judgement and decision. I use my brains a lot more than I use my 'heart'. I'm a realist. And by facts, not everyone is good in controlling their brains, they thought they do but still doing the same shit thing.

I've been feeling a lot more like a grown-up lately in the sense that I can talk to anyone very rationally about anything at all. The past few days I've been talking to friend about very serious issues like homosexuality, principles in relationships, politics etc. it's serious evaluating and scrutiny of the subject.Through all the settling of the dust of these discussions I feel strangely independent and confident.

Relationship

Have you guys ever thought in which period of a relationship can you actually say "It will last forever"?
Think about it. You're in a really strong relationship with a gf/bf and you do believe it will go far. But most of the time, you'll be wrong. Especially at this (my) age, there's always things like studying abroad that will screw relationships up for people. And otherwise some people do say it to get others in bed. Whatever it is, my point is it will end, somehow - 

or maybe say things actually work out and phase 1 is completed. You get married.

Think about it. You're in a really strong marriage with your wife/husband and you do believe it will go far. But at times, you'll be wrong. Especially in this generation where 50% of marriages end up in divorce, which 50% do you stand in? 50% is a number, and if you do exclude external influence, that really does put the existence of your marriage in a flip of a coin - 

or maybe say things actually work out and phase 2 is completed. You die married.

Think about it. You're in wherever after you die, assume heaven or hell............

Don't expect the point of what I'm trying to say to be at the end of this story. Move back to the question. Basically, will you ever know the outcome of something as fragile as a relationship?

The reality is having two people to agree that they will live together and compromise their differences perfectly forever is..well, non-existent. It only takes one side to screw a relationship up because:

"In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing."
So all the people who are in a relationship or even marriage now, think about it. How absolutely sure are you that the other party is giving a 100% level of committment to the relationship? And the greatest question of all, how sure are you that YOU'RE at that level as well?

And those of you aren't in a relationship, what I'm trying to say is never give up when you like someone who is already currently in a relationship (it happens all the time I'm sure) and go "give up, it's over". Relationships are extremely fragile and anything may happen at any time. If you think it's worth the wait, it will be.

But out of 1000,  1-10 relationships do end up like fairy-tales, living happily ever after and what not. Just don't get your hopes up too high and lastly, cheers. To your relationship or future relationship, and hope for the best.

Anyway, this post is to remind myself on my mistakes that i have done before, because no one is right all the time, no? 

Pessimists?

Let's talk about all of you for a moment.

Let's assume someone had a really good life. A nice wife, a wholesome family and a steady job. Then one day on the way to work he reversed into his wife, the car exploded but he got out alive, his kids were killed in the explosion, and he got fired for being late at a very important presentation all because of one very unfortunate accident. Would you say he's unlucky?

A lot of you would say yes, and my conclusion is, you're all a bunch of pessimists. Yes, I said it. Straight from the mouth of a person on trial for being a pessimist or a realist. Let me explain myself.

You're all going to hate me for how simple my answer is but this sort of thinking has applied very well for me in the recent days. The man was lucky enough to have a good life to begin with. So all you people who are out there whining about what a good life they used to have but threw it away with a stupid mistake or something, just shut the hell up. It is better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all; a statement I find rather true, as opposed to all the Disney tales and shit I have shockingly found to be untrue over the years. It's time to just sit back and appreciate that you had something in the first place instead of wallowing in self-pity about how crappy life is now.

I swear if I hear another person whining about what could have been I'll hang them

and 

i swear this is damn cute. Haha

Changeover

Things are going to change drastically come the end of the month, the way things are going. It makes me think that my birthday month in coming 90 days probably isn't going to be all that enjoyable. Yeah, it may sound like people coming and leaving really shouldn't affect me but when so many are leaving at once, it's probably going to be really messy for quite some time; call it a hunch. Well, not bad thou for as i'm a keeper, i don't go random for serious relationship or friendship.

In hindsight, I  realize that things are always destined to become increasingly tougher and never easier because when we get the the way we want, we would want more, and more. Life and the world is built that way, and no, I'm not interested in religious opinions on this case, heard them all, hypocrites. 

Growing up is a pain

"Growing up is a pain!" is probably something you've heard many people exclaim before, one time too many. Admittedly I've gradually grown up these past few years exclaiming that line quite a few times myself. Heck, I still do sometimes, am still whiny about how tough life can be, and overall grew up to be...rather cynical at times.

People seem to take things at face value, something I've used to my advantage these few years. Put on a mask and a persona to fool the world, and they might just glance right over you; makes things easier. That is not to say that other people are not the same, in fact I'm more inclined to believe that almost everyone puts on a mask of their own. Some friends who are closer to me in recent years (my school friends haven't really mix with me much since..graduation from school) would call me two-faced; of course, they are referring to my behavior. I think I picked a persona that is too weak so much so that people get the impression that I'm easy to bully. On top, my partner who used to be with me for more than a year thinks that i am hating her, because that was what her negativity behavior wanted her to think, however i still put a hope in mind she would reply positively rather than a sleeveless essays that'd turned me speechless, perhaps, she should learn to observe from me, deriving what she felt apply back to me that how pain is to leave someone that you love so much, how pain is to miss someone who was the reason you went home every night and wake up with a smile. How sore the feeling seeing the one you love is having good life oversea while you are still struggling. When you are being positive, nothing would goes wrong. Someone just have to know that i don't hate people. However, that's definitely not the case and it's more like I don't want to retaliate. Some of my long time friends probably know of my explosive temper when I was younger till few months back and I haven't really had anything trigger any explosions lately, something I'd like to attribute to my growing control over my emotions. I'd like to think so really, but maybe it's not really that. I dunno.

I find so many defects with myself physically and mentally (shit I'm gaining weight where I don't want them to...), makes me wonder). "Time flies!" eventually becomes so cliche you don't even bother spouting that line anymore, and you get to tell younger people that you "ate more salt than you ever did rice!" Neglecting the fact that salt is pretty widely used in a number of dishes. "Come back again after you have eaten more celery than rice" is what I'll tell you if you say that line to my face.

I think I'm thinking too much. Wait scratch that...I KNOW I think too much and it's actually very much in my nature to think too much, but still not be able to predict and figure out everything. Wish I was born a genius or something, would have made life hella easier. Tough+uncertainties+growing pains=definitely very melancholic day for me.

The television

Merely, I am aimless, motiveless and emotionless, not to mention the soreness in the inner feeling at the sight of the broken TV. I just feel like staying in an incomplete house. I used to have a lot of guests and visitors in my house, and I’m proud to have them in, they are more than welcomed and I love my house when it's full of people. But people don’t come to visit and sit in your room, your living room or your kitchen. Statistic shows 99% of house’s visitors sit in the living room and a living room needs to have TV. I’m a homie fella who definitely loves a TV, TV represents a complete house. I remember the first day I shifted in here; I told myself that this house needs a TV, so I need a TV. Also, I remember I was constantly being reminded by my parents that I don’t watch TV often, yet I insisted, so yes bought, and now broken. So no TV = no Guest = Sad. So everything is clear now when lining everything up. That’s why I love blogging. I used to blog back to 2008, guess I will keep everything posted? I hope I do. Have a nice day.

Feel like blogging yet.

I have opened this writing page for 15 minutes, taking pleasure in the writing and erasing process and I still have no idea what to write. Ever since i came back from Langkawi, I have been staying at home until now, it’s hilarious because If I were the neighbor beside my house, I would be seeing a problematic guy walking in a house alone, indeed I have problems but as a rule, problems only stay within myself. Such tribulations are not collective, maybe yes, yet they ought not to be shared because it must remain unknown though. Seriously, if anyone asks me what my problem is, gravely I have no idea at all. It’s just a load of abundances to tell and I don’t know which to tell. It might be away from your circle of interests, so why tell in the first place, yes? So back to the story, I’m changed. Definitely a changed person, I came no interest to matter that used to be concerned by me, I said no to seafood – ridiculous?, I clean my house every day – holy?, I don’t cook and I dont eat fast food – OMG?, I sleep in the living room every night – creepy?, I ignore everyone I used to talk to – pathetic?.