I'm Lifeless

That's right. With a capital L. Why?

1000th game of Free Cell. Mind you I reset my statistics quite often.

Well it's not as bad as it looks. The boredom of holidays have just been settling in and I've been watching a lot of dramas. Free Cell is just something I do on the side while watching.

~

Oh by the way, I came across something hilarious that happened to me recently, so here's a message to someone who reads my blog discreetly.

After I heard about this and spread the word among my friends, they all told me I should beat the shit out of you. A lot have offered assistance with this as they could not take that someone (you) was badmouthing one of their friends (me) so openly.

But here's the deal. I told them all not to react because rather than feeling anger, I feel sorry for you that after an entire year (or more) that it happened, you can still hold a grudge against me so much so, that you would talk bad about me the moment my name comes up in a conversation with someone you just met. BTW, that guy you just met was one of my best friends, which is how the news got to me. Sorry you didn't know that. Heh.

You had a chance to confront me every single day in high school for the last 2 year. You had my phone number. It amuses me that you didn't have the courage to come up to me and tell me that you hated me for what I did. Instead you prefer to talk bad about me behind my back to people you've just met, an entire year later.

Kudos to you sir.

You light up my day.

P/S

There have beeen many useful phrases in this blog that I would like to reflect upon. Let me read back.

1. patheticisimsinilism

2. pussy wanker who won't result to violence

3. ask him meet wit u go play dota and settle.

4. "ada 52 buah sekolah di pj,kenapa lu datang tampar dia di TM?!" - (hahahahaha, brings back memories)

You always seem to remember things that I never remember or rather choose to not remember.

Emotional Expression

- Was my words too hard to being understood?
- Was my words fed a hell up?
- I hate sarcasm.
- I hate direct humiliation.
- If you are not smart as me, please don harass me, else you will double paid.
- I'm emo to idiots.
- I hate people who aren't as tough as he/she talks.
- I smile doesn't mean I'm happy.
- I smile doesn't mean I'm not angry.

Yes, I'm very angry now. Indeed I am. For reason I'm unsure. For certain peoples i assured.

Being alone

is awesome. Embrace it.

In the past months I've been through several events that provoke me to question certain habits I have. Some days I just feel like staying at home and sleeping, watching TV and doing something absolutely unproductive knowing that I would end up waking up to a new day feeling absolutely shitty.

But it's when I embrace these times and let it be that I feel the most alive at the end of it, regardless of how dead I feel during it. In questioning why these habits exist, I forgot to stop and examine if there was really something to question in the first place.

That's when I notice there's nothing wrong with wanting to be alone a lot. It's a lifestyle. Some people need to get out of the house all the time. That's your lifestyle.

I respect that we have our individual ways of going about it. So you should too.