Play safe?

Life is like a spectrum most of the time. Its not easy to be confident I have to say. Most of the people you meet are not like what you think. There isn't a good and bad in life. With relation to the above analogy, it can be said that you can be either totally lacking in confidence, in the "middle", or overconfident. In this case I might categorise myself in the confident region, though not yet over- (I know how it felt to be so, and it sucked when I failed at something). To throw everything to the wind in the hopes of winning something against improbable odds is something of folklore, romantists, and the desperate. Though sometimes people win this way, its not really something I might say applies to everyday life, since there are always better and safer ways. I guess the perspective must be put into the picture before it becomes clearer. What will make you take the risks? Perhaps it might be love, money, reputation or even for kicks. Its unique basically. Personally I'm always in a risky game :) call me a risk taker~ When i find things are good, i would disregard factors, foreseen consequences, researches and risks, i would go ahead because i always wanted to create history, good or bad, that would be a great life experience. I don't worry on things that im going to do but i do on things that i afraid results do not appear in the series of expectation. Only by taking risk, you find miracles and beauty of life.

Having faith in relationship (Trust)

Trust.

Now that's obviously a huge word in relationships and I know most of you are gonna think "Of course, you think you're very smart for discovering this?" But a lot of people today need to re-examine their relationships and dig up for the existence of such a term.

Getting jealous of some guy who's too close to your girlfriend and not trusting her not to take things to another level are different things (works with reverse genders). It is a known fact that jealousy fills the hearts of most couples in Malaysia, for stupid reasons such as your girlfriend is talking to her ex-boyfriend, or something.

Yes, being jealous is just an unavoidable feeling. Restricting him/her from talking to their ex or showing how annoyed you are when they do however, just shows the lack of trust in a relationship.

Now obviously the simple philosophy in restricting someone from talking to someone else is just so they don't feel attached to each other anymore. But as a side-effect, your other half in the relationship would obviously feel pressure, like there are things they can and cannot do even where friends are concerned. And to me, it's not something I would suggest you do.

Some of you are thinking now, "Are you stupid? By allowing my gf/bf to be really close with other guys/girls (respectively), they're obviously going to feel something with each other right?"

If you're going to make your partner avoid getting too close to people of the opposite sex, it's not going to help them learn self-control at all because sooner or later, your partner is going to have a good friend of the opposite sex to entertain him/her (in normal ways) while you're busy sometimes. It's an undeniable fact that your other half will mix with people from the opposite sex and there's nothing you can do about it. And it's inevitable that your partner will speak to his/her ex once in awhile and there's nothing you can do about it. So the best thing to do is obviously to let it go.

If you're on the receiving end of this and you go "He/she doesn't care about me, thats why he/she still lets me talk to my ex/get close to a person of the opposite sex" then that's really dumb because all they have shown by doing this for you is the trust they have in you.

I'm not saying I am perfect and having a romantic relationship going on. Everyone does mistake, I did mistake, my partner did mistake, just have to learn forgive/forgiven but don't forget.

All or nothing is easy. But taking something slowly and still being able to control yourself is really something.

Fickle emotion

We all know how it's possible to suppress your craving for something and how it'll fade away eventually. Would it work the same way when you're dealing with feelings towards others?

The way I see it, the most realistic way out of my situation is to pull out of it by forgetting about it. Throughout so many years of people to people networking, i have learnt that the more you ignore the lesser it sparks - do not get it wrong, i wasn't saying ignoring the problem, it was more or less ignoring unnecessary comments and arguments that happened to be emotional whereby the person who talked is emotional too. Never deliver your message when you are angry, the next day you wake up, sorry doesn't work anymore. Yes i do experience couples and dozens of sorry and i always choose to forgive. Human brain is a very sensitive and emotional organic information organ, they act because your heart realizes. So always calm down, positiveness must take place.

I'm sick of myself being so obsessive about it. I'm not the kind who likes to make assumptions about my own life based on how I'm feeling. By right, no one should. I always prefer to take the rational style by sleeping it over and getting my emotions out of the way before I make judgement and decision. I use my brains a lot more than I use my 'heart'. I'm a realist. And by facts, not everyone is good in controlling their brains, they thought they do but still doing the same shit thing.

I've been feeling a lot more like a grown-up lately in the sense that I can talk to anyone very rationally about anything at all. The past few days I've been talking to friend about very serious issues like homosexuality, principles in relationships, politics etc. it's serious evaluating and scrutiny of the subject.Through all the settling of the dust of these discussions I feel strangely independent and confident.

Relationship

Have you guys ever thought in which period of a relationship can you actually say "It will last forever"?
Think about it. You're in a really strong relationship with a gf/bf and you do believe it will go far. But most of the time, you'll be wrong. Especially at this (my) age, there's always things like studying abroad that will screw relationships up for people. And otherwise some people do say it to get others in bed. Whatever it is, my point is it will end, somehow - 

or maybe say things actually work out and phase 1 is completed. You get married.

Think about it. You're in a really strong marriage with your wife/husband and you do believe it will go far. But at times, you'll be wrong. Especially in this generation where 50% of marriages end up in divorce, which 50% do you stand in? 50% is a number, and if you do exclude external influence, that really does put the existence of your marriage in a flip of a coin - 

or maybe say things actually work out and phase 2 is completed. You die married.

Think about it. You're in wherever after you die, assume heaven or hell............

Don't expect the point of what I'm trying to say to be at the end of this story. Move back to the question. Basically, will you ever know the outcome of something as fragile as a relationship?

The reality is having two people to agree that they will live together and compromise their differences perfectly forever is..well, non-existent. It only takes one side to screw a relationship up because:

"In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing."
So all the people who are in a relationship or even marriage now, think about it. How absolutely sure are you that the other party is giving a 100% level of committment to the relationship? And the greatest question of all, how sure are you that YOU'RE at that level as well?

And those of you aren't in a relationship, what I'm trying to say is never give up when you like someone who is already currently in a relationship (it happens all the time I'm sure) and go "give up, it's over". Relationships are extremely fragile and anything may happen at any time. If you think it's worth the wait, it will be.

But out of 1000,  1-10 relationships do end up like fairy-tales, living happily ever after and what not. Just don't get your hopes up too high and lastly, cheers. To your relationship or future relationship, and hope for the best.

Anyway, this post is to remind myself on my mistakes that i have done before, because no one is right all the time, no? 

Pessimists?

Let's talk about all of you for a moment.

Let's assume someone had a really good life. A nice wife, a wholesome family and a steady job. Then one day on the way to work he reversed into his wife, the car exploded but he got out alive, his kids were killed in the explosion, and he got fired for being late at a very important presentation all because of one very unfortunate accident. Would you say he's unlucky?

A lot of you would say yes, and my conclusion is, you're all a bunch of pessimists. Yes, I said it. Straight from the mouth of a person on trial for being a pessimist or a realist. Let me explain myself.

You're all going to hate me for how simple my answer is but this sort of thinking has applied very well for me in the recent days. The man was lucky enough to have a good life to begin with. So all you people who are out there whining about what a good life they used to have but threw it away with a stupid mistake or something, just shut the hell up. It is better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all; a statement I find rather true, as opposed to all the Disney tales and shit I have shockingly found to be untrue over the years. It's time to just sit back and appreciate that you had something in the first place instead of wallowing in self-pity about how crappy life is now.

I swear if I hear another person whining about what could have been I'll hang them

and 

i swear this is damn cute. Haha

Definition of Trust

Trust is something intangible but can be seen through one person attitude and behavior towards you. When people are trusting one another, clarification ought not to be made, no further verification - you have said it, I've heard it, no doubts no questions.

The word "trust" is widely used by all prospects in the world, regardless of (un)intentionally of how they judge towards people around them, to environment, to surrounding, to their closest one, to friends and strangers. Hereby, 2 scenarios happen regularly which are stated below:

When you trust a person offset of some occasions or accidents or maybe a conflict, you do not say "i trust you" to the person that you wanted to trust, all you have to do is just continue what are you doing and forget whatever had happened and decided to trust him and neglect rumors. Somehow if you can tell the 3rd party that you trust the 1st person, then your trust is genuine. Likewise, telling the 1st person that you trust him more or less like you do not really trust him normally - just for this time.

Meanwhile, some people tend to use the word "i trust you" - verbally as above-mentioned to hint  the prospect that this is the only time that i trust you, yet environment and people factors take place. This category of trust comes with doubts. For example A tells B "i trust you", and A asks C "is he for real". These people are not genuine.

This word can be harsh at times, whether its in personal or relationship issues or maybe at work. When you say "i do not trust you" or "i would not trust you anymore" can lead to a big wound to an unrecoverable scar. The sense of security has increased but trust has become gone-case. If trust is not in possession anymore, then one does not have to do extra things to regain the trust back.

Or maybe we should go into relationship issue, well, relationship is very subjective and whatever i commented here is subjects to be different from your thought. If you are looking for romantic and stress-less relationship, you can actually watch it in movie/drama. You enjoy watching happy ending, yet looking at mirror and fuck-my-relationship-life and expect your life-partner do the same like how others(movie) did. 

But somehow, i have few of my friends that i have witnessed their sorrowfulness at earlier stage of relationship and they are enjoying coupling now after 4 years as if the world is belong to them. Sad to say, i am not at that level yet, going to be - because environment factors take place. My working scopes are associated with dealing with human behavior/attitude, creating warm relationship to break the ice, creating intimate but limited space of relation kind of relationship. Thus, its hard for me to maintain a real relationship when there's no trust. The trust that i need is 99%. Another 1% maybe i would tell you i have eaten my lunch when in fact, i did not lol.